Rob is the pasty white guy in the middle.

He was the real-life inspiration for Dolomite, old people and pregnant women give up their subway seats for him and I naturally assume when my wife wants to orgasm, she thinks of him…he’s Rob Masterson.

Rob’s beginnings in this league were of the positive sort. After two straight seasons advancing to the semis, he looked like he’d be a yearly contender and not just because he still wore his Ken O’Brien underoos.

However, as his career progressed, the name Masterson was suddenly getting placed alongside those like (Eric) Vozzola and Greenblatt, especially between 2005-10, when Rob missed the playoffs four times in six seasons, winning just one playoff game, all while people like Don and Matt we’re bringing home multiple mugs.

After a brilliant 2011 season though, Rob finally righted the ship. Since that year, he has produced five straight winning seasons and obviously crashed the post-season five straight years. The only other two to do the same are Bob and Griff.

Yet, Rob would never be confused with those two. Those two fight for titles, while Rob would feel blessed to just win a playoff game, something he’s done just twice since 2004. However, it’s not just that. Rob remains one of just two people who has never won a scoring title (although he’s been close), he’s never been a top seed and he’s never even reached the title game. Jeff is the only person who can lay claim to all that as well and no one wants to be associated with Jeff in fantasy football.

Moving forward, can Masterson break any those glass ceilings in 2016? He’s got the football knowledge, he’s got the keeper options this year and since he’s married with two young kids, living in the suburbs, we know he’s not getting laid, so he should have plenty of time to do his homework.

BY THE NUMBERS

THREE GREATEST MOMENTS

This one is easy….if you break the all-time scoring record for a single game that remains untouched for twelve years, it’s got to be on the “greatest” list. In the 2003 quarterfinals, Masterson crushed it, or rather, crushed Molly, 2,501 – 1,319. Prior to that, the record was held by me when I scored 2,321. Since then, no one has even crack 2,400. Rob was led by Aaron Brooks (539 points), Priest Holmes (406), Curtis Martin (388) and the Colts DST (436).
Can a great moment be 14 years long? Sure, it’s my write-up, I can do what I want. No one has dominated week one like Masterson. It’s not even close. Rob is 13-1 in week one. He’s currently riding a nine-game winning streak on opening day. The only time he tasted defeat, was way back in 2006, losing to Molly, 1,472 – 1,324.
After an amazing 2011 season, it appeared Rob was back on the (losing) sauce. He started 2012, losing five of his first six contests and it looked like he would miss the post-season for the fifth time in eight years. Yet, Masterson rolled off three straight 1,500-pt games and turned it around. He finished the year winning six of his final seven, becoming the first person to start a season 1-5, yet finish the season above .500 during the 13-game era.

THREE WORST MOMENTS

The best team Rob ever produced that looked primed for a spot in the title game, had to be his 2011 squad. Let by Tony Romo, Ray Rice and Roddy White, Rob became just the third person in league history to average over 1,500 points. However, he earned the dreaded 2-seed and had to face the giant killer, Bob. Well, things looked great early, as Rob took a commanding lead, a lead he continued to hold until the final minute of the final game, when Bob and Steven Jackson ripped out his soul, pulling off the upset by only two points, 1,625 – 1,623.
After starting his career with three straight post-season trips, 2005 seemed like a typical start to a typical season. Rob began the year 4-1. Yet, things got real painful when Rob lost his three best players, Priest Holmes, Ahman Green and Javon Walker, for the year. Even his stud backup, Ricky Williams, missed three weeks. He was unable to recover. He would end up dropping seven of his final eight games, failing to break 1,000 in four of his final five, producing three weekly low scores. He missed the playoffs for the first time in his Robioland career.
Prior the 2010 season, during that offseason, Masterson was projected to be a top team. He had a pair of stud Rices in Ray Rice (round five keeper) and Sidney Rice (Round seven keeper), along with up-and-coming Michael Crabtree (Round 13). With these players, plus his first four picks in the draft, the words “preseason” and “favorite” were getting tossed around. Well, during training camp, Sidney Rice was knocked out until week ten with a leg injury and Rob proceeded to produce one of the worst drafts ever, especially at RB where Rob needed to line someone up next to Ray Rice (who finished 7th among all backs that year). Pierre Thomas (Rd 2) finished 54th, Jonathan Stewart (Rd 3) 38th, Donald Brown (Rd 8) finished 45th, Willie McGahee (Rd 11) finished 50th. Rob would suffer through his worst season in Robioland, winning just two games all year.

HISTORIC MOMENTS

Yep, I’m bringing it up again. The greatest weekend in league history, proved to be Rob’s greatest nightmare.
Speaking of nightmare, Masterson was also part of the Forgettable Four.
Wow, every historical moment Rob is apart of, he’s on the wrong side of history.
Hey, something positive. Here’s a more detailed look of the greatest single game performance in league history.
This isn’t typically a historical moment, but it’s worth including it…Masterson’s painful experience in this league.

LEAGUE RECORDS

Yep, Rob’s 2,501 points scored in the 2003 quarterfinals remains the record high.
Rob has failed to hit 500 twice. In 2003, he scored just 475 (8th lowest) and two years later, he scored 435 (5th lowest point total).
Masterson is on the wrong side of the league’s greatest ass-kicking, when I beat him by 1,624 points in 2003 (2,099 – 475). Fun fact: Rob’s name appears seven times on the top-30 all-time ass-kicking list. Sadly, six of them it was his ass getting kicked.
Rob was fortunate enough to play in one of only two games decide by two points. Unfortunately for him, he lost and it eliminated him from the playoffs.
When Masterson scored 2,501, he and Molly combined for 3,821. That’s the fourth most combined points scored.
Rob scored 1,530 points per game in 2011. That’s the fourth most points in league history for a regular season.
His 2013 opponents scored 1,472 PPG. That’s the second most ever scored by opponents for one season. Ironically, Rob didn’t win unluckiest team that year, because Burrier’s opponents scored more. In fact, the top three “most points scored by opponents for a season” all come from 2013.
Between 2012-13, Rob scored over 1,250 points in 11 straight games, the fifth longest streak.

FAVORITE & NOT FAVORITE OPPONENT

Sadly, Rob only has a winning record against three teams and those three teams are currently ranked 10th (Don), 11th (Eric) and 12th (Jeff) in my rankings. He’s 9-7 against Don, 9-8 against Eric, but he owns Jeff, going 7-2 against his former roommate, taking four out of their last five.
Rob’s worst opponent use to be me, but recently he’s taken four of five and close the gap (9-12). He’s certainly had his struggles with Molly, going 5-11, once losing seven straight between 2004-2011. However, there’s still someone worse and that’s Calderon. Rob is just 5-14 against the older Rich. At one point Calderon led the series, 8-2 and since then has still doubled up Rob, taking six of their last nine.

GREATEST PLAYER

No one has had more success on a Masterson squad than fellow former Rutgers alum, Ray Rice. Rob drafted the rookie in the sixth round of the 2010 draft, but Rice didn’t do much as a rookie. Yet, the following season Rob grabbed him again, this time in the fifth and he paid off big. He finished that year as the third best back in fantasy football. He would keep him the next two seasons and Rice would not disappoint, finishing 7th in 2010. In 2011, he earned Rob his first first-team All-Robio player since 2006, leading him to his best season in Robioland. The following year, he was the first pick in the draft.

FUN FACT

Rob has two seasons that are currently in the top-10 most points scored in the regular season. His 2011 was the 4th most points scored and two years later he averaged 1,494 PPG, the 10th most. Bob is the only other person to have two regular seasons in the top-10.
Rob owns seven of the top thirty point totals scored in a defeat. His highest is #8, when he scored 1,708 in a loss to Griff in 2009.
Rob is the only person in the league who has two seasons in the top-10 of most points scored by an opponent. His 2013 opponents scored the second most points per game (1,472) and his 2004 opponents averaged 1,422 (9th most).
For his career, Rob’s opponents have averaged 1,336 PPG. That’s a league high.
Rob’s opponents get even tougher in the post-season. His opponents have averaged 1,486 PPG in the playoffs, second only to Molly.
I mentioned how good Rob is on opening day (13-1). Well, he’s just the opposite in the season’s final week, going 4-10.
Rob has produced only six first-team All-Robio players (second worst only to Jeff). He’s never had a first-team or second-team quarterback or tight end.
Masterson once went five seasons without a single first-team All-Robio player. Only Calderon has had a stretch like that.
Rob is tied with me for most “disappointing team” awards (3).

2016 Team Rankings | #7 Rob Masterson

July 15, 2016