Okay folks, earlier in the week I gave you my in-depth thoughts on the incoming rookie running back class. My words were so in-depth, if Mel Kiper came across my posts, he’d be all like, “this dude writes like a third-grader.”
Today, we tackle wide receivers. Get it, “tackle” the wide receivers. Fucking brilliant. As we all know, rookie wide receivers don’t typically make a huge impact their first go-around, sort of like when a woman has sex with Griff. It’s like, “okay, that happened.”
Last year, Amari Cooper finished as the 14th best wide receiver, but other than him, the only other rookie to crack the top-40 was Stefon Diggs, who finished 40th in Robioland Football. This year, I see that trend continuing. Don’t get me wrong, I see some solid pairs of hands with the potential to be low-end WR2’s (finished in the 20’s among WRs), but it’s hard to find a guy who will have a true fantasy impact on the 2016 season. I’m talking about a “75 catches, 1,200 yards, eight scores” kind of impact. Having said that…
FOUR POTENTIAL STARS
JOSH DOCTSON | WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM
Not that I watch a ton of BIG-12 football, but coming out of unpaid ball, Doctson was my favorite wide receiver and he couldn’t have landed in a better spot. No, he’s not going to start this season and if you waste a top five-pick on him, you might as well name your fantasy team “Clueless Ass-Hat” because you would be a clueless Ass-Hat.
Yet, he’s set-up perfectly for 2017. He has a capable quarterback throwing the ball (Cousins) and a tight end underneath (Reed) to keep the safeties away. He also has two experienced veteran wideouts (DeSean Jackson and Pierre Garcon) to learn from — both who will be gone after this season, making way for Docton to step in and be the man.
2. COREY COLEMAN | BROWNS
You might find this hard to believe, but this dude’s dad is in prison. Shocking, I know. Also ironic because getting stuck playing in Cleveland is going to feel like a prison. Thank you, I’ll be here all week. 
Actually, Coleman is in a good spot, whether you believe in RGIII or not. The fact is, there is simply no one else to throw the ball to and unlike so many no-name wideouts we’ve wasted 12th round picks on over the years, Coleman is a true playmaker. Is he a great receiver? No, not really. According to experts, the kid is going to need a GPS to run his routes, but let’s put a little faith in Hue Jackson. He’ll find a way to get the ball in Coleman’s hands (the slot, out wide, WR screens, H-back) so he can do some damage.
3. LAQUAN TREADWELL | VIKINGS
If I had to pick one guy to pull an “Amari Cooper” it would be this guy. He landed in a good spot with the Vikings. Fact is, if Teddy Bridgewater is ever going to make the jump from “I’m a shitty quarterback who led his team to the post-season” to “I’m a solid quarterback in this league and you must respect my authority” then this is the season to do it. Having both Treadwell and Stefon Diggs will help. Diggs will be lined up opposite the rookie, so there won’t be pressure on Treadwell to be the number one option. While not a speedster, he’s got solid hands and in college, he always seemed to step up his game when playing the toughest foes with the most pros.
4. WILL FULLER | TEXANS
Houston has completely revamped their offense. They got the Jolly Green Giant at quarterback, Lamar Miller handling the carries and they brought in Will Fuller to help DeAndre Hopkins and that’s the key words…to help. Listen, Fuller has wheels. He’ll probably return kicks and would do kickoff returns if those were still allowed in the National Pussy League. Yet, Hopkins is a stud and he’s going to see a bulk of the targets. However, I will say this, last year Brock Osweiler did eventually show a willingness to spread the ball around. In his first three games as a starter, he targeted the Broncos number one receiver (Thomas) more than the number two (Sanders) by a lot, 31-13. However, in the final five games, it was much more even, 53-43. Because Fuller is the type of guy who can average about 18 yards per catch, he doesn’t need a ton of targets.
FOUR DEEP SLEEPERS
CHARONE PEAKE | JETS
He lasted to the seventh round, which surprised me, while the rest of you are probably like, what the fuck is a Charone Peake? He’s a kid out of Clemson who never got a ton of playing time because the Tigers were loaded, plus he tore an ACL a couple years back. However, he’s got talent and he’ll learn a lot playing behind Marshall and Decker.
STARLING STERLING | GIANTS
A speedy slot receiver who can really benefit once Victor Cruz goes down and out for the year in week three.
TYLER BOYD | BENGALS
The Bengals are desperate for wide receivers to stand across from A.J. Green now that Mohamed Sanu took his talents to Atlanta and Marvin Jones is replacing Megatron (have fun with that, big guy). They signed Brandon La”Drop” from New England and he should get the starting spot, but remember, Andy Dalton was a stud when he was sharing the wealth (fucking socialist!).
BRAXTON MILLER | TEXANS
I already have one Texans’ rookie receiver on the list, but I guess you can’t have too many. Miller was a former Ohio State quarterback who was lost for the year before the 2014 season. Since his backup and his backup’s backup led the team to the National Championship, Miller made the obvious decision to switch positions. He’s a smart kid and is one hell of an athlete. The only problem is, he’s only played wide receiver for one year. With a good coaching job and a little patience, this guy could be a good one.