He’s a part-time vegan, sometimes nudist and most likely danced to Donna Summers during his high school prom…he’s Rich “don’t call me Burrier” Calderon.

Okay, you get the “best team to never win a title” monkey off your back, so what do you do for an encore? If you’re Rich Calderon…not much.

For a long time, this guy did plenty of impressive things. He won games (three 9-win seasons), he scored (often sitting third or fourth in career points) and he advanced in the playoffs (moving past the quarters in his first three post-season trips). Later, he began to enjoy elite status. He earned a scoring title in 2010, produced back-to-back 10-win seasons, before finally winning it all with a 13-win team in 2013.

Yet, fantasy football is all about what you’ve done for me lately and Calderon hasn’t done much lately. Two years ago he entered the season as defending champ and preseason favorite. Yet, his team struggled all year and he barely snuck back into the playoffs with a 6-win team. He followed that up with five-win squad this past season that did miss the playoffs. Since getting monkey off, Rich has finished ninth and tenth in scoring and now has slipped to 7th in career points. A man whose name once got mentioned with the best in the league, is now treading in Vozzola territory.

Heading into 2016, Stella needs to get her groove back. He needs to start scoring points and remind people that he knows how to win in this league (the only league that truly matters). If Rich doesn’t do this soon, he’ll soon learn how easy his one title run will be forgotten.

BY THE NUMBERS

THREE GREATEST MOMENTS

Back in Rich’s first season, he did the impossible, he became the first 8-seed to upset a 1-seed in playoff history. Of course, getting there wasn’t easy. Rich began his career in Robioland 1-6 and in the last place. However, over the next five weeks, he’d become one of the best teams in the league, winning four of six, scoring over 1,490 five times, producing three weekly high scores. However, heading into the last week, Rich still needed lots of help to get into the playoffs. He needed to beat a playoff-bound Masterson team and then he needed both Bob and Jeff to lose. Eric was also in play and if Eric won, he would definitely need Jeff to lose, to force a points tiebreaker (head-to-head tiebreaker was the first tiebreaker back then). Well, Calderon beat Masterson, I beat Bob, Eric won and Jeff lost. Thus, Calderon was able to sneak into the 8-spot because of points. Heading into the quarterfinals, I feared Rich. Sure I had won nine of ten games and was the league’s top scoring team, but Calderon was the third best scoring team in the league. In the end, Rich’s squad was too much, crushing out a 1,953 – 1,535 victory.
Let’s go back to the beginning of 2003 again, when Rich fell to 1-6. In that sixth defeat, he lost to Molly, 1,410 – 1,010. Rich scored the week’s lowest score; the first in his career. Then he went the rest of the season without scoring a weekly low. The following season, no weekly lows. The same for 2005 and 2006. In 2007, the streak nearly ended at 51 straight, when Rich scored a career low 652 points. Luckily for him, his opponent (Colby) scored less and the streaked continued. By season’s end, it was at 60, breaking Griff’s previous high of 56 set in 2003. Rich’s streak would last another year in a half, when in week eight of the 2009 season, when his team scored just 797 in a loss to Colby. His streak lasted 80 games; over an incredible six plus seasons.
In 2010, Calderon finally did it. He won his first fantasy championship. That season, he dominated, starting the year winning six of his first seven, finishing with 10 wins (losing only to Masterson, Griff and Matt). He earned the second seed only because I also won 10 games, but I was first in scoring, while Rich was fourth. In the quarterfinals, Calderon appeared doom. He was the dreaded two seed and facing Bob, the third best scoring team in the league. Yet, somehow, someway, Rich avoided the expected upset, crushing Bob, 1,798 – 1,182. In the semis, he faced a Masterson squad that was second in the league in scoring. Yet, Rob’s squad failed to show and Rich won, 1,451 – 1,118. Calderon also caught a small break, when my team failed to show and Griff was able to knock out the 1-seed (although Rich would have probably been the finals favorite over me). In the title game, Calderon was too much for Griff. Led by LeSean McCoy and DeMarco Murray, who combined for 688 fantasy points, Rich beat Grif, 1,496 – 1,270.

THREE WORST MOMENTS

Now that 80-game streak is impressive, but I can do one better. How about the time it took Rich 81 games just to win three in a row? It happened to be his first 81 games in this league. On average, it took the current batch of teams about 11 games in the league to win three straight. Eric did have the record of 29 for a time, but Calderon crushed it by 52 games. In 2004, Rich won nine games and a playoff game, but not three in a row. He had 12 two-game winning streaks during the streak, but went 0-12 in those third contests. Finally, in week seven of the 2007 season, he won two straight and faced a 1-5 Matt team. Neatock had no fight in him, as Rich won his third in a row, 1,510 – 1,082.
Since winning championships are rare, almost all season’s end with a loss. However, no one loses like Calderon in the final game. In the eight times Rich’s season ended in the playoffs, his final score average is just 998 PPG. He’s only broken 1,000 in half those games, failing to hit even 900 three times. Until last season when he scored 1,575 to end his regular season last year, Rich even struggled to score in his final game when he missed the post-season, averaging just 901 PPG.
One player should never change a team’s fortune, but sometimes it certainly feels like it does. Back in 2005, Calderon looked stacked. He had a stud back in Jamal Lewis (kept in round two), both a productive quarterback (Matt Hasselback) and tight end (Chris Cooley) and surprise rookie, Cadillac Williams. However, the star of this squad was the Eagles’ Terrell Owens. For five weeks, there was no better wide receiver in fantasy, but the loud mouth wideout couldn’t keep his trap shut and was suspended by the team for the rest of the year. Just like that, Rich went from having a 1st-team All-Robio wide receiver to Jerry Porter. After winning his first game in the post-TO era and improving to 4-2 on the year, Rich would end up losing his next four and five of his next seven, missing the playoffs for the first time in his career.

HISTORIC MOMENTS

Here’s a detailed reminder of the moment Calderon FINALLY won that first fantasy championship.
I’ve already mentioned this, but here’s more about that 81-game streak without a weekly low score.
Again, we already discussed this, but here was the original write up for Rich’s failure to win three in a row in this league.
The day Calderon joined Robioland Football.

LEAGUE RECORDS

Rich was on the wrong end of the second biggest ass-kicking in league history. In 2014, he lost to Bob by 1,529 points. The final score: 2,179 – 650.
Calderon is one of five people to win a one-point game in this league, when he defeated Jeff 1,511-1,510 back in 2003. It remains the highest scoring one-point in league history.
In 2014, Rich and Matt combined to score 3,807 points (Rich won the game, 2,163 – 1,644), the fifth most combined points scored in a contest. Ten years earlier, he and Colby combined for 3,746 points (Calderon won 1,950 – 1,796), the 8th most combined points scored in a game.
In 2007, Calderon and Colby struggled to score, combining for 1,269 points (a Rich victory, 622 – 617), the fourth lowest combined score in league history.
Between 2012-13, Rich scored at least 1,000 points in 25 straight games, the sixth longest streak.
Of course, as I mentioned above, Rich’s most impressive feat was his 80 straight games without a weekly low score. That’s easily the best in the league.

FAVORITE & NOT FAVORITE OPPONENT

Rich has done a number on Colby, going 11-4 against him, as it took Colby six years and seven games to earn that first win over Calderon. Yet, the one guy Rich truly owns is Rob Masterson. He’s 14-5 in the series, having won six of seven until Rob finally best him in 2015.
While every team has someone they struggled against, no team has dominated Calderon. He’s 9-11 against Burrier, but he’s won three out of four. He’s just 7-9 against me and I’ve taken four out of the last six, but that’s it.

GREATEST PLAYER

Calderon has actually had two great players on his team. Both were fantastic, so it’s impossible to try to put one above the other, so let’s mention them both. In 2007, in an odd straight up quarterback-for-quarterback trade, Rich shipped off Philip Rivers to Burrier for Drew Brees in week five. Brees had a solid year, finishing 5th among all quarterbacks, while Rivers got hurt and benched, finishing 16th. Over the next two seasons, Calderon was able to keep Brees in round three and the Saints quarterback proceeded to finish first among all quarterbacks both seasons (earning Rich his first two 1st-team All-Robio players).
In 2010, Drew Brees keeper eligibility was up and he went back into the draft. It was time for another category one star. In round two, Rich drafted Calvin Johnson. The Lions receiver was a stud, but had yet to earn any All-Robio award (finishing in the top-six among receivers). Well, that season he finally got one, taking third-team (5th best wideout). The next two years, Calderon would keep Megatron and he would produce back-to-back 1st-team All-Robio awards.

FUN FACT

Rich has never earned a top seed. Just one of five people to not do that yet.
Calderon only has five weekly low scores for his career, which is a league best. However, four of those have come in the last 24 games he’s played.
We talked about Rich’s struggles to win three in a row early in his career. Well, that struggle is back, as he’s failed to win three in a row the previous two seasons. In fact, Rich has not won three in a row in nine of his 13 seasons in the league.
Excluding original members Robio and Griff, only Bob has been to the semifinals more than Calderon. Rich has made five trips to the second weekend in the playoffs.
Rich had no 1st-team All-Robio players in his first five seasons in this league. However, he then had one in six straight seasons, until he failed to nail one in 2014.
Calderon has never had an 1st-team All-Robio Defense/Special Teams. He’s also only had one 1st-team All-Robio back.

2016 Team Rankings: #5 Rich Calderon

July 18, 2016