Why am I already doing a “if the playoffs started today,” post? It’s only week nine. I’m insane, right? Yes.
However, even though we’ve only played eight weeks of fantasy football, I’m pretty confident one person (Jeff) has already locked up a playoff spot. While I’m not willing to do the math, for him to not make the post-season, he would need to finish 0-5, then have seven other teams finish 7-6 (which would require either Griff, Molly or Matt to go undefeated). Oh and then all the teams would need to outscore him in total points. Seems unlikely.
Hell, in two weeks, five teams could clinch a playoff spot, as long as Molly loses once and the winner of the Matt/Griff game this week, then loses in week ten. Confused? Good.
Of course, the important question is, could the playoffs already be set? No, but it sure feels like it. With five teams already at six wins and all trending upward, those teams are pretty much a lock for a playoff spot. Down at the bottom, Colby has one win, while both Matt and Molly are trending down.
This leaves four teams fighting for three playoff spots; myself, Eric, Burrier and Griff. Quickly, let’s look at those four…
ROBIO: As of now, I’m still a safe beat to make the playoffs. Of the four, I have the most wins, the most points and I have a favorable schedule. I have Molly, Colby and Matt all still on the schedule. Two wins in my final five should be enough. Oh and Jamaal Charles going on the IR helps.
ERIC: He’s the hot hand of the bunch. Shaking off an 0-4 start, Eric has won three of four, including a pair of victories against playoff teams (Bob, Burrier). His schedule down the stretch isn’t awful. He gets to face Matt a second time and has Colby next. However, the big one will be in two weeks when he faces Griff.
RICH B: Mr. Burrier has now dropped four out of five and he has scoring issues, since Molly is the only person he has outscored this season. He’s got a pair of tough ones the next two weeks, taking on six-win Bob and six-win Don. He also has the league’s scoring leader (Calderon) in week 12, although he has that game sandwiched between Matt and Molly.
GRIFF: He’s struggling at 2-6, but he’s within reach of both Eric and Burrier. He trails the former in points by just a little and has a nice points lead over the latter. However, of the four, he has the toughest remaining schedule. Outside of Matt this week, Griff’s final four games will all be against playoff teams, including Eric in two weeks. He ends 2016 with Bob, Jeff and Masterson. Those three are a combined 19-5.
Anyhow, let’s focus on those who are in…
#1 NO RESPECT (7-1) vs #8 THE HYPE IS REAL (3-5)
JEFF PLAYOFF HISTORY: Jeff is looking to make only his fourth playoff appearance and trying to make it to the post-season party in back-to-back years for the first time in his career. So far, it hasn’t been a joyous party. He’s winless (0-3), averaging only 1,034 points per game. Prior to this season, he’s never been higher than a 4-seed. Fun fact: Jeff is trying to become the first person to ever win both the Robioland Fantasy Baseball and Football championship in the same year, or as Calderon would say, “horse shit.”
BURRIER PLAYOFF HISTORY: Burrier is attempting to make it to the post-season for the 11th time in 15 seasons in Robioland. He’s also trying to make the trip three straight seasons (and six out of seven). If he does end up as the 8-seed, it would be a record fifth time. He’s 1-3 as the 8-seed, upsetting the top seed Griff in 2012. He’s also the last 8-seed to win a playoff game. Overall, Rich is 6-9 in the playoffs, 3-7 in round one. His only title remains the one he got back in 2003. The last time he made it to the finals was 2011.
JEFF/BURRIER HISTORY: Jeff pulled out a 70-point win in week five of this year. That victory tied up the career series, 6-6. Jeff has now won three of the last four.
JEFF/BURRIER PLAYOFF HISTORY: These two have never faced off in the post-season
#2 THE DICK-TATERS (6-2) VS #7 BROWN ‘N SERVIN IT (3-5)
RICH C PLAYOFF HISTORY: After missing the post-season last year, Rich is trying to get back in for the 10th time in 14 years. Overall, Calderon is 8-8 in the post-season, averaging about 1,280 points per game. Only Jeff has averaged less points per game. In round one, he’s a decent 5-4, going just 1-3 as the two seed. Of course that one time was in 2013, when he finally won it all.
ERIC PLAYOFF HISTORY: After missing the playoffs in each of his first six years, Eric is looking to make the post-season for the sixth time in ten seasons and back-to-back seasons for the first time since he went three straight years back in 2007-2009. He’s just 2-5 in the playoffs. Both those wins came when he lost in the 2012 title game.
RICH C/ERIC HISTORY: In week seven, Calderon defeated Eric, 1483-1313. This ended a two-game losing streak to Eric and he now leads the series, 9-7.
RICH C/ERIC PLAYOFF HISTORY: These two have never faced off in the post-season.
#3 FONDLING IS MY FORTE (6-2) VS HYDE THE SALAMI (4-4)
ROB M PLAYOFF HISTORY: Rob has been a fixture in the Robioland post-season lately. He’s made it five straight seasons (only Bob and Griff have longer active streaks) and if he makes it again this year, that would be seven out of the last eight years. Of course, Masterson’s problem is not getting to the playoffs, it’s knowing how to win once there. He’s just 4-10 in the post-season and he’s dropped seven of his last eight post-season games dating back to the 2006 semifinals. He’s 0-4 in the semis, having never reached the finals.
ROBIO PLAYOFF HISTORY: My playoff history is the exact opposite of Masterson’s. First, I don’t get there very often any more. I’ve missed the post-season in five of the last nine years, including the last two. However, when I get there I do well. Overall, I’m 21-7, which is the best record in the league. I’m a stunning 10-1 in the quarterfinals. The only time I fell in round one was as a 1-seed in 2003. I averaged a second best 1,488 points per game and I’ve reached the title game seven times (winning four).
ROB M/ROBIO HISTORY: Overall, I’m leading the series 12-10. However, Rob has taken three straight and five of six, including this season’s match up. In week five, we were both 4-0, but Masterson remained undefeated when he beat me 1,623-1,417.
ROB M/ROBIO PLAYOFF HISTORY: Surprisingly, Rob and I have faced off just once in the post-season and that was a long time ago. In the 2006 semifinals, me as the 3-seed, took down 8-seeded Masterson, 1,464-1,073.
#4 N.T.T.I.A.T.W.W.T (6-2) VS #5 WHITE PRIVILEDGE (6-2)
DON PLAYOFF HISTORY: Don is just one of five people with a career winning record in the post-season. He’s 9-8 overall, but six of those nine wins came in the two years (2006, 2008) when he won a championship. Of course, Don use to be a playoff regular, attending the party eight straight years (2004-2011), but now he’s trying to end a four-year drought. Don has only been the higher seed twice, 2002 and 2005 and in both cases, he lost.
BOB PLAYOFF HISTORY: Come on, do I have to go through all the gory glory? Bob is 17-7 in the post-season, averaging a league high 1,493 points per game. He’s 9-2 in the quarterfinals and 4-0 in the title game. He’s made it to the post-season in 11 of his 13 years in the league, including a record 10 straight years. Fun fact: These two have combined for six championships in this league. That’s only happened once before. When Bob and I met in the 2012 semis, we both had three titles each (six combined).
DON/BOB HISTORY: Bob has owned Don over the years. Overall, he is 14-4 against him. In fact, after a week one victory this season, Bob has now won five straight and nine of ten. These two will face off again in week 12.
DON/BOB PLAYOFF HISTORY: These two have faced off in the post-season twice. In 2006, 7-seeded Don defeated 5-seed Bob, 1,211-1,007 on his way to his first title. However, in 2009 Bob got his revenge. In the quarterfinals, 2-seeded Bob took down Don, 1,941-1,491
OUTSIDE LOOKING IN…
#9 Truck Nutz (2-6)
#10 Mollipop (2-6)
#11 Conner of Barth (2-6)
#12 Quarter Pounders (1-7)