Three 1,900-point games and a 862-point comeback to end the 2024 regular season. That’s how we roll, baby! Anyhow, I need to keep this quick. Got a cut due, it’s my daughter’s birthday and I got playoff write ups to write.
One quick note, I said last night that Jeff would face Matt and Burrier would face Bob in the quarterfinals, but I forgot Rich still had one more win than Jeff, so Rich actually keeps the 3-seed. Thankfully, none of you are paying attention, so I can fill these write ups with as many errors as I want.
One note: While Calderon earned that third career top seed, I earned my sixth career scoring crown, averaging 1,528 points per game. Calderon also topped 1,500 per game, averaging 1,507 per contest. My point total is the 12th most ever scored in the regular season, while Rich is tied for 19th. Teams have averaged over 1,500 in a season 23 times in this league’s history; 22 of those have come after 2011.
#1 THE DICK-TATERS (RICH C)
The Dicks were clearly unhappy with being dropped from the top spot, which explains their 1,925-point outburst. Darnold looked like an All-Pro, hitting 504 points (that’s got to be a career high), but it was the addition of Guerendo that proved huge. He delivered 128 yards and scored twice, giving Rich 376 in his first career start. Unfortunately, he hurt his foot and his status for Thursday night is up in the air. Luckily for Rich, he’s got a deep squad.
#2 ATTACK OF THE CAT SNACK (ROBIO)
Burrow and Robinson played their part (combining for 658 points), but the play of Kamara was concerning. Kendre Miller is out of the doghouse and got 10 carries. In total, Kamara only got 17 of the team’s 35 rushes. That’s not good, because his value comes in getting all the Saints’ carries, as he only averages about 4.2 yards per carry.
#3 AIYUK ACHANE ADONAI ELOHEINU MELEKH HA’OLAM (BOB)
No Daniels, no Taylor, no McLaurin…no problem. Led by Pollard (248) and Smith-Njigba (232), Bob escaped with a low-scoring victory which just shows he does have some depth.
For Bob to make a long run, he’s going to need to rely on his two Commanders, especially the rookie. Anything less than 300 from Daniels and this team will struggle to win postseason games. However, life would be better if Achane can get back to taking it “next level.” In his last four games, he has broken 200 three times, but he is not looking like a good running back, averaging 3.1, 4.3, 3.2 and 2.0 yards rushing in those four contests. Get those rushing numbers up and those 200-pt games become 300-pt games.
#4 THUNDERPANTS (RICH B)
Burrier battled and scored 1,637 points. He didn’t beat Calderon, but he showed the world he’s here to play. The best receiver in football scored 502. His value comes via Burrow, who unlike so many other quarterbacks, feeds his receiver, even when covered, trusting him to make the catch. Against the Cowboys, Chase was targeted 18 times. He caught 14 balls for 177 yards and two scores (scoring 502 points). On the flipside, in that same game, Lamb caught six balls on Dallas’ first two drives and just two the rest of the way.
#5 FOOTBALL (JEFF)
Jeff’s team is tough to figure out. On one hand, he’s topped 1,900 twice in the last month, but those are the only times he has topped 1,500 since week seven. This week, the point production from his backs wasn’t surprising. Seeing Williams and Hubbard hit 588 has been a common occurrence. However, getting 602 from his wideouts has not been that common.
This week, Jennings looked like the 49ers best wideout, leading the team in targets (8) and catches (7), easily outpacing Deebo, who had three targets and two catches. Just as important was the play of Tyreek. Coming off a solid 6-83-1 game (236 points), he had his best game since week one this week, producing 10 catches for 115 yards and another score (302 points). If these stats are the new norm…lordy.
#6 THE GENIUS (MATT)
Instead of talking about Matt’s team, let’s talk about the man himself. Once upon a time in this league, Matt was on the verge of becoming the trade king. Twice he pulled off five trades in a season (2009, 2010). This is a man who participated in a 10-player trade with me that led to a 2018 championship. He was a mover and a shaker. Yet, those days are gone. Matt hasn’t pulled off a trade since 2021. That’s three years. Is the magic gone?
#7 DUDELOVE (MICHAEL)
Michael was desperate for a good game and Nacua delivered a great one, scoring 476 points. Yet, it was his SF connection that dominated. Purdy was back and scored 348 points and his favorite target was Mike’s tight end, as Kittle finished with 151 yards and 302 fantasy points. He earned second-team All-Robio, as he finished 64 points behind Bower. Of course the important question is…did Michael peak one week too early?
#8 MAGIC NUMBERS (COLBY)
This weekend was truly magical, thanks to Josh Allen who scored 752 points. I went to see if that was the best ever, but I couldn’t find any write up about quarterbacks and the best single games ever. I’m going to have to do that. I do know Michael Vick scored over 800 once, but that was prior to when we changed the scoring system. If I do a list, I’ll adjust the scoring like I do with the backs and receivers.
Anyhow, Allen gets nearly all the credit for Colby’s stunning week 14, but let’s not ignore Dowdle. With McCaffrey out and Colby unable to get any of his backups, the Cowboys running back has turned into a true RB1 the last two weeks. Yes, it’s the Giants and Bengals, but in those two contests, he had 40 carries for 243 yards and a score. He’s scored 588 combined points. Josh Allen isn’t going to score 700 per game, so Colby needs to have both a RB1 (Dowdle) and a true WR1 (Kupp) to have any chance of upsetting Calderon this week.
#9 STROUD BOYS (ERIC)
At one point this season, I think it was week eight, I declared this team the best team in the league. Swift was playing great, Mixon was healthy, Stroud looked good and Eric’s receivers looked deadly. Then it all went south. I can honestly say no team ranked #1 in my rankings that late in the season has ever missed the playoffs…yet here we are.
Eric dropped four of his final six and crossed the 1,300-pt mark just once in those games. This week he was stuck playing without Stroud and Mixon, but Swift finishing the season with 80 fantasy points is fitting. In week one, he scored 80 points. I also can’t figure out how someone like Lamb could have over 200 points in the first quarter of Monday night’s game, yet catch just two balls in the final three quarters and fail to hit 250 points in a night where Eric really needed him to be a stud against a bad Bengals D.
#10 TWO HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK (ROB M)
Sort of fitting that Rob ends his season with a defeat, in a game he scored over 1,500, while both his starting backs were on his bench due to injuries. It’s still a bit mind blowing that a team with Murray at the QB (for the most part), along with Hall, Dobbins, Jefferson and Wilson couldn’t come up with more than four wins. The players proved to be maddeningly inconsistent week to week and that 1-5 start was too much to overcome. It didn’t help Rob’s cause that he scored over 1,500 three times this year, but lost.
#11 REAL MEN PRODUCE PORN (GRIFF)
Look on the brightside, sure Griff didn’t make the playoffs, but he earned the “unluckiest” team award this year. His foes averaged 1,522 points per game, which is the second most in league history. But let’s not confuse bad luck with a good team. This team was not good. Griff struggled to keep his running backs healthy, as Pacheco, White and Robinson all missed games this year. He never solved his TE problem and his receivers should have been dominant each week, but failed to do so (Brown was hurt early in the year).
#12 AI BUILD MY TEAM (DON)
Sorta fitting that Don falls to Bob by just 148 points in a game where Reed scored zero points. I mean, what happened to that dude. He came out of the gate scoring 462 points. Struggled without Love, but then scored 342 when the QB came back, followed by 194 the following week. He looked like a legit All-Robio candidate. Yet, he would top 200 just two more times, failing to hit 100 four times, including this week’s shutout. He’s just a microcosm of Don’s 2024 campaign.