Sadly, it seems like there won’t be any fantastic week 14 finishes this year, as the only thing that truly seems undecided are the seedings. As of now, the playoffs look like…
#1 Calderon vs #8 Eric
#2 Robio vs #7 Michael
#3 Burrier vs #6 Jeff
#4 Bob vs #5 Matt
Colby is not officially eliminated, but the defending champ to make the playoffs, it would take the greatest magic trick of all, since he’s a game back of Eric and has 862 less points. He would need to win, have Eric lose and then Colby would need to outscore Eric 863 points (since he lost to Eric in week eight).
As always, even if you are eliminated from the playoffs, please set your rosters. The game may not matter to you, but it may matter to others, so set it and walk away!
On to the rankings…
#1 ATTACK OF THE CAT SNACK (ROBIO)
Yep, I’m making a change at that top, but more on that in a bit. Obviously I’ll be playing roto-defense, but this week we finally got to see what my playoff roster will be. While Robinson led the way with 330 points, I was more excited that seven different players topped 200 (my kicker had 160). It also pleased me to see Joe Burrow deliver 274, despite turning it over three times and getting tossed to the turf another four occasions.
The addition of Robinson is nice, although James Cook, who I traded away, also put up 300 this week, but picking up Jonnu Smith has been huge. Tight end was a problem child all season for me, but he’s been on fire lately, becoming Tua’s favorite target. In his last three contests, he has 30 targets, 25 catches for 301 yards and three scores.
#1 THE DICK-TATERS (RICH C)
Calderon escapes with a 19-point victory over last place Don. No shame in that. To win this many games, sometimes a good escape is needed. The win keeps Rich in the top spot, as he chases that third career top seed, all in the last seven seasons. With one more win, he’ll tie his career high with 12 victories in one season.
Yet, this close call is not the reason why I’m knocking Rich down a peg. I’ve decided to put myself back at the top because I’m a big believer in a “no decision” postseason roster. Now, someone like Rich has decisions to make because he has solid depth and in the regular season that’s a good thing, but come playoffs, a set roster is a successful roster. Much like a college basketball coach who plays 10 early in the season, but once the tournament rolls around, that rotation is down to 7-8 players.
Rich is a very deep team and it seems like has to make a lot of decisions each week. For example, at QB. This week he benched Tua for Darnold. Made sense, since Dolphins don’t do well in the cold. Well, that decision cost him 74 points. He benched the Ravens DST for the Colts. Also made sense, with the Ravens playing the Eagles, but that decision cost him 45 points.
Of course, some decisions are a wash. He started Aaron Jones over Ken Walker. Both failed to hit 100 points, although his starter scored six less points. Yet, other decisions worked out well. He played Adams over Deebo and that decision earned him 182 points. Plus, he started Andrews over Kraft and he was rewarded with 42 more points.
If my math is correct, Rich’s decisions added 99 points to his final score, in a game he won by just 19 points. Yet, this is a game I hate to play in the playoffs, as I’m still haunted by two playoff losses that happened because of a decision I made, including the 2008 title game.
#3 AIYUK ACHANE ADONAI ELOHEINU MELEKH HA’OLAM (BOB)
He’s back, baby! Like a rash that sits between my leg and my left nut, it may go away for a bit, but it always returns. Yet, there is no ointment for the four-time champion, who has been trying for a full decade to receive that fifth mug.
Now, his team is good enough to make the playoffs, but is he a contender? Well, it helps that Jayden Daniels has woken from his slumber. He’s scored 824 points in his last two games (most in the last 63 minutes of game action). He’s completed 50 passes and thrown five touchdowns, while rushing for 108 yards in those two contests.
Best yet, Daniels is tossing it a ton to Terry McLaurin. Bob’s sixth round pick is currently the third best wideout in fantasy. His 177 points per game is good enough for a second-team All-Robio award, as his nine touchdowns are tied for second most.
It’s safe to say, this lifelong Giants fan is fully on the Commanders bandwagon for the remainder of this season.
#4 THUNDERPANTS (RICH B)
Burrier has topped 1,500 just three times this year, which is tied for the least amount of all the playoff teams. However, when he does score, he scores a lot. In fact, all three times he broke 1,500, he actually scored over 1,800, earning a pair of weekly high scores and coming five points short this week of a third.
This means he really can be a giant killer this postseason. To do that, it helps to have a player who is so much better than anyone else at their position. For Rich, he has two. Ja’Marr Chase averages 257 points per game, which is 58 points more than the next receiver (Justin Jeffeerson). He’s tied for the most catches this year by a wideout, his 1,142 yards is the most and his 13 scores is four more than the next guy.
On top of that, rookie Brock Bowers is the best TE in football. He has 2,030 fantasy points, which is 250 more than the next guy on the list (Kittle). And his stats are getting better, as he is the number one option in Vegas. In his last three games, he has 40 targets, 27 catches for 304 yards and two scores.
Looking ahead, Rich’s final opponent is Calderon. The old man has been a thorn in Burrier’s side for a while now. He beat him back in week three and Calderon has won eight of the last nine meetings dating back to 2018. While Burrier has nothing to really prove, as he has won eight games, going 7-2 against current playoff teams and won five straight (four against current playoff teams), a win over Calderon would be a massive moral victory if such a thing can exist in fantasy. He can get a big monkey off his back and prove to the league he’s one of the elite. Of course, if he loses, since he trails the next three teams in points, he could potentially fall to the 6-seed. No one wants to be the six-seed.
#5 THE GENIUS (MATT)
Neatock got another 400-point effort by a running back this season, but it wasn’t Derrick Henry. Instead, it was Bucky Irving. The 12th round pick has really turned things on lately. In his last three games, he has 50 carries for 313 yards, plus another 111 yards receiving and three touchdowns. He scored 430 this week and has 1,028 points, after topping 200 just once prior to week ten. In that same three-game window, Henry has scored “only” 662 points.
Add in LaPorta, who was kept in the 14th round and Sutton, who was drafted in the 10th round by Calderon and three of Matt’s starters are guys that didn’t cost him a ninth round pick or higher in his draft.
#6 FOOTBALL (JEFF)
Not a ton to complain about this week, despite the defeat, as three folks hit 200+ and everyone scored at least 125, except for Hubbard. The Panthers back had just 56 points. This was his worst game since week one when he scored 28 points on my roster.
What went wrong? Was it Jonathon Brooks? The rookie back made his debut, but he only carried it six times for 18 yards. The problem had more to do with the Panthers airing it out. Young threw the ball 46 times, which is a career best by a ton. It’s hard to believe the Panthers are just going to be airing it out the rest of the season. Look for this game to be simply a hiccup for Hubbard.
Now the fun part…the battle for the final playoff spots may be a dud, but the battle for the four seed (and potential three seed) is one worth watching. Right now, seeds 4-5-6 are Bob, Matt and Jeff, but only 134 points (basically a 37-yard TD) separates the three of them and none of them face off in this final week.
#7 DUDELOVE (MICHAEL)
Michael made plenty of correct decisions at QB and WR, but it still wasn’t enough, as he secured his fifth defeat in his last six contests. He also produced his third weekly low score, tied with Eric for most. This is the first time in his career he’s had multiple weekly low scores in one season.
On top of that, Michael’s tendency to fall apart as the season goes on continues. Think about…
2019 – Started 4-0, finished 2-8 (losing in the quarterfinals)
2020 – Started 4-0, finished 5-5 (losing in the quarterfinals)
2021 – The exception, as he started 2-6, but finished 4-2 (missing the playoffs)
2022 – Started 5-2, finished 4-4 (losing in the quarterfinals)
2023 – Started 5-0, finished 5-7 (losing in the finals)
2024 – Started 4-1, just 2-6 since.
#8 STROUD BOYS (ERIC)
The Stroud Boys became the Herbert Boys this week and his QB spot actually got worse. While Stroud again struggled, scoring a subpar 214 (ninth straight game scoring under 300), it was still better than Herbert, who managed only 70 points. This wasted another 298-point effort by Mixon.
Of course, it’s not all Herbert’s fault, as no other player hit 200 and his receivers, Lamb and St. Brown, two guys who came into the season as first-team All-Robio material, combined for just seven catches for 112 yards this week.
Yet, the reason why Eric was supposed to compete this season and why he was #1 for one week in these rankings was due to his backs. Mixon continues to do his part, averaging 298 points per contest, which is third behind Barkley and Henry. The problem is Swift went from being great to returning to averageness. After scoring at least 298 in four straight games from week four through week eight, the Bears back has hit 200 just once, averaging 163 per game. Over these four weeks, he has not sniffed 100 total yards and he’s scored just one touchdown. The only way Eric makes any noise in the postseason is if this dude returns to his 300-point days.
#9 MAGIC NUMBERS (COLBY)
All this season really has done is proven how hard it is to win three championships in a row and why no one has ever done it. This was the fourth attempt by a team and of the four, this proved to be the worst of the bunch. When I went for the three-peat in 2001, I won nine games, finished second in scoring, earning the two-seed, before falling in the semifinals. When Bob chased glory in 2012, he finished fourth in points, but won just six games and earned the 7-seed. Like me, he reached the semifinals. In 2019, Matt went for three. Like Bob, he finished fourth in points, but he won seven games and earned the 6-seed. Like me and Bob though, his three-peat ended in the semifinals.
As of this writing, Colby is in ninth place, with no real chance to make the playoffs, as he is now last in scoring in the league. In the history of this league, only two other champions failed to qualify for the playoffs the following year. They were Bob in 2005 and Matt in 2008. Currently, he trails Don in points by 103. If Colby ends the season last in points, he’ll become the first defending champ to finish last in points the following season.
Want to know what went wrong? You’ll need to wait. I need something to write next Tuesday.
10 TWO HEADED RUSHIN ATTACK (ROB M)
There’s plenty of blame to go around for Rob’s disappointing 2024 season, but let’s blame his twin Jets. As his favorite team faltered, so did his fantasy team. Hall hasn’t been bad this year, but too often his stats didn’t match his ability. This week, he averaged five yards per carry, but was only given the ball 12 times (110 fantasy points), while Aaron Rodgers threw it 39 times.
Despite all those throws, Garrett Wilson only caught five balls for 41 yards. The Jets wideout managed only one good five week stretch this season when he averaged 240.8 points per game in weeks 5-9. Since then, in his last three contests, he has just 14 catches for 100 yards and no scores, averaging 66.6 points per game.
#11 REAL MEN PRODUCE PORN (GRIFF)
Lamar Jackson hit 400 again and continues to dominate the QB position, out-scoring the second best arm by over 90 points. He has over 1,200 more points than the next quarterback. Yet, can we give an MVP to a guy who led his fantasy team to an 11th place finish (as of now)? I know it’s fantasy and Jackson can’t be blamed for any of Griff’s failures, but it’s the principal, man. It’s not like Coomer just missed the playoffs. He’s probably going to end the season losing eight straight games. He’s one shy of his career longest losing streak and two back of the all-time record (if he loses next week). I can’t vote for others, but he’s not getting my vote.
#12 AI BUILD MY TEAM (DON)
I guess it’s better late than never, as Don nearly took down the first place team, almost winning two straight. He also almost scored 1,500 in back-to-back games. Prior to last week he had gone 22 games without a 1,500-pt game, which is tied for 10th longest streak without scoring 1,500.
WIth a 294-point effort this week, Josh Jacobs is barely holding off Joe Mixon for a third-team All-Robio award. He leads by just 22 points. If he can hold that award, it would mean Don is the only team in the league to produce at least one All-Robio back in each of the last three seasons. In 2022, Derrick Henry earned a first-team award. Last year, Mostert also got a first-team All-Robio award.