It’s the matchup that no one has dreamt about, because let’s face it, prior to the start of the season, if there was going to be a battle of unbeaten teams, it was going to be Griff vs Bob. Yet, here we are. It’s Rob v Rob. It’s 4-0 vs 4-0. It’s a matchup that features one guy who likes to pump his quads while looking in the mirror, yelling, “Ten more you fucking walking vagina!!” vs a guy who only uses the mirror to chase his lifelong dream to become a member of “Puppetry of the Penis.”
Before we can decide who you should put your money on, let’s look at the cold hard, throbbing numbers.
SPREAD: Robio is the favorite by 113 points.
POINTS: I’m second in scoring, while Masterson is 6th. I’ve scored 1,042 more points per game than him, which comes to about 260 PPG more.
BREAKDOWN: Here I have a large advantage. I’m first in the league in breakdown, which shouldn’t come as a surprise, if you just so happen to read my Tuesday Thoughts this week where I pointed out that my squad has been the most consistent. I’ve finished 5th, 2nd, 3rd and 2nd in weekly scoring. My opponent, he’s only 9th in breakdown, finishing 6th, 8th, tied for 7th and 9th, as 10 teams that lost in a week outscored Masterson. Obviously, in our individual breakdown, I’m 4-0 against the other Rob.
HISTORY: I lead the series 12-9, but Masterson has gotten the better of me lately. He’s won two straight and four out of five.
Of course, all that I just wrote is pretty much meaningless, right? Games are won based on weekly match ups. Let’s take a look at those, but let’s start off with who is missing.
INJURY/BYE WEEK ISSUES
Masterson’s lineup has been in flux all season long, but I think it’s safe to say he’s down three starters. Dez Bryant should miss a second straight game, while both Mark Ingram and Jimmy Graham are on byes.
Me, my lineup has been rock solid. Sure I lost Charles, but I’ve never had him, so arguable, outside of sitting Jordy Nelson for a bye, the only lineup change I’ve made is at QB (rotating Cousins in for one week). This week, that changes. I’ll be without Allen Robinson and the Chiefs’ starting running back (Charles/Ware).
ADVANTAGE: ROB M
QUARTERBACK
PHILIP RIVERS (ROBIO) VS TOM BRADY (ROB M)
I have no beef with my quarterback. Philip Rivers continues to be a solid fantasy QB (currently 10th) and I couldn’t ask for a better match up, as the Chargers face the Raiders in Oakland. If you didn’t know, the Raiders have the league’s worst pass defense.
Yet, I’m giving the advantage nod to Masterson because Tom Brady. He’s back. He’s mad. He’s going to, if I can borrow a phrase from Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh, “announce his presence with authority” against the Browns, who have given up 29, 25, 31, and 31 points this year. I’m sensing 300 yards and four touchdowns, as a giant middle finger to Roger Goodell.
ADVANTAGE: ROB M
RUNNING BACK #1
CARLOS HYDE (ROBIO) VS MATT FORTE (ROB M)
Both backs are currently sitting in the top-12, although neither has really impressed the eye test, instead relying on bulk. Hyde averages just 4.1 yards per carry, but has 86 touches (73 rushes), Forte has 92 touches and his 81 carries is third in the league, but he’s averaging just 3.6 yards per carry.
Hyde plays Thursday night at Arizona, which isn’t tragic. The Cardinals are just 20th in the league against the run, giving up about 110 yards per contest. Forte has struggled the last two weeks, as Fitzpatrick can’t seem to stop throwing interceptions. This means the Jets are always in comeback mode and Powell is actually getting more time on the field. Worse yet, Forte is questionable with a shoulder injury and even if he does play, he’ll face the league’s fourth best team against the run.
ADVANTAGE: ROBIO
RUNNING BACK #2
DEANDRE WASHINGTON (ROBIO) VS LeGARRETTE BLOUT (ROB M)
Prior to the season, this spot was projected to be occupied by Jamaal Charles (Robio) vs Mark Ingram (Rob M), but both are on a bye. Of course, Rob has had no problem sitting Ingram, as Blount has proven to be one the league’s best steals. Currently, he’s second in the league in rushing attempts and ranked 11th in fantasy points among all backs.
But, because there is always a but, what can we expect from him now that Brady is back? One could argue that the Patriots will go back to their pass-happy days and ignore the run, but one could also argue that with Brady back, it will force defenses to be more honest and open up space for a running back. There is also the issue with Blount’s health. He’s questionable for this game, which is why White is getting sleeper love this week, but I’d still put my money on Blount playing this week.
Speaking of injury, I might be catching a break this week. With two starters out on a bye-week, it was looking like I was going to have to run with a backup running back (Maybe Dixon or Smallwood). Yet, word on the street is that Latavius Murray is doubtful and won’t play Sunday, which means DeAndre Washington will be.
I’m excited about Washington to the point where I have him in all three of my leagues and what’s not to like. Murray blows. He was the league’s worst running back in the fourth quarter last year and he’s still the worst. Over his last two contests, he has just 56 yards on 18 carries (barely three yards per carry). Meanwhile, as the backup, Washington has 81 yards on just 11 carries. On the season, the rookie is averaging 6.4 yards per carry and has caught all six of the balls thrown to him.
Still, I’m not going to give either Rob the advantage. I just don’t know what the Patriots are going to with Brady back and as for Washington, it’s one thing to average 6.4 on limited duty, we have no idea what he’ll do as the starter.
ADVANTAGE: NONE
WIDE RECEIVER #1 ADVANTAGE:
JORDY NELSON (ROBIO) VS AMARI COOPER (ROB M)
Now this is a intriguing match up. Coming off an ACL tear, Nelson had a slow start to the year that was masked by a pair of touchdowns, but he finally exploded when the Packers went home in week three, scoring 322 points. Based solely on PPG (because he had a bye last week), Nelson is 8th among all receivers.
Cooper was projected by me to be an All-Robio player and looked like one after week one, when he busted loose for 294 fantasy points. However, his stats have slowly declined each week and he suddenly looks like the second option in Oakland. Michael Crabtree leads the team in targets, receptions, yards and touchdowns. In fact, Crabtree has four scores to Cooper’s zero.
Still, the match up is solid for Cooper and I look for him to get on the board this week against a weak Chargers pass defense. Yet, I also expect big things from Nelson. The Packers are coming off a bye, are playing at home (where they dominate) and are facing a Giants defense that is actually worse than the Chargers when it comes to giving up fantasy points to wide receivers.
ADVANTAGE: SLIGHT/ROBIO
WIDE RECEIVER #2
JARVIS LANDRY (ROBIO) VS TERRELLE PRYOR (ROB M)
Both Rob and I are down starters here. I’m without Allen Robinson and Rob is without Dez Bryant. Landry gets his second straight start, thanks to bye weeks and barring injury he won’t see the field again for me this year. So far, he’s been decent. He’s tied for second in the league with 45 targets and is actually fourth in yards (375), but his one touchdown helps explain why he’s just seventh in fantasy points among all receivers. Still, that’s solid and he should be able to deliver about 80 yards against a decent-but-not-great Titans pass defense.
With Josh Gordon off to rehab, Pryor is the clear #1 option in Cleveland that hasn’t been too tragic with Cody Kessler at QB. He’s been targeted 32 times over the last three games and coach Hue Jackson has gotten creative, putting the former college QB in the wildcat (where he has thrown the ball). The Patriots have given up plenty of yards passing this season, so the opportunity to put up points is there, but the one thing Belichick does great as a coach is his ability to shut down a team’s best player and make you beat him with someone else.
ADVANTAGE: SLIGHT/ROBIO
TIGHT END
GREG OLSEN (ROBIO) VS HUNTER HENRY (ROB M)
Right now, Greg Olsen is first among tight ends and it’s not really even close. He’s up on Jordan Reed, the number two tight end, by 166 fantasy points. Yet, the matchup isn’t the best. First, we don’t know if Cam Newton is going to play. Second, the Buccaneers defense has not been great this year, but they’ve been solid shutting down opponent’s tight ends. Against Tampa, tight ends have caught just 12 balls for 115 yards and no touchdowns on the season.
With Antonio Gates injured, Masterson had been riding Jimmy Graham, who had delivered a pair of 100-yard games. Luckily for me, he’s taking the week off, so Rob reached onto the wire and grabbed Hunter Henry. With Gates out, Henry has looked like a solid TE1. In his last two games as a starter, Rivers targeted him 12 times and he caught nine balls for 133 yards and a score. Only one fumble in week three hurt his stats. The issue for Rob is, Gates practiced on Wednesday and still could play, which means both men could rotate in and out of the lineup. That’s never good news in fantasy.
ADVANTAGE: ROBIO
PLACE KICKER
GRAHAM GANO (ROBIO) VS MIKE NUGENT (ROB M)
Both Rob and I opted to change kickers this week, both reaching for kickers that play on teams that have struggled to put up points in the red zone. Nugent is coming off a five field goal game. He’s 13-for-13 on the year and is on pace for 52 field goal tries, which would tie him with David Akers (2011) for most attempts in a season. With the way the Bengals have struggled in the red zone this year, he might break that record. Against Dallas this week though, I’m not sure the Cowboys are the best match up. Big D’s D has only allowed five field goal attempts all season, barely more than one per game.
For me, Gano is sixth among all kickers. He’s missed twice, but five of his made field goals have been from 40+ yards. The Buccaneers have given up eight field goals and 12 extra points and are just 25th against kickers. However, if Cam Newton is not playing, look for Gano to have less opportunities.
ADVANTAGE: SLIGHT/ROB M
DEFENSE/SPECIAL TEAMS
BRONCOS DST (ROBIO) VS VIKINGS DST (ROB M)
If defense wins championships, then no two teams have a better shot at winning it all. Masterson has the league’s top defense, while I have the second best. The Vikings tend to give up more yards, especially passing, but they have forced 10 turnovers and sacked the QB 15 times. Up next is the Texans and quarterback Brock Osweiler, who is one of the worst quarterbacks in the league thanks to six interceptions this season.
I said I wanted a defense that is a must-start each week, no matter who the opponent and I’m going to put that to the test this week, as the high-flying Falcons and the league’s number one passing game, comes to town. This one should be fun. The Broncos D is one of the best at stopping the pass, having sacked the quarterback 17 times. Still, completely shutting down Atlanta might be asking too much, especially with the quarterback issues on the offense.
ADVANTAGE: ROB M
FINAL PREDICTION:
Look for Tom Brady and the Vikings DST to give Masterson a ton of points and he’ll have his best week to date, but I caught a break with Latavius Murray’s toe injury and I have too many good match ups.
WINNER: ROBIO, 1,602 – 1,478
THE REST OF YOU SORRY SHITS…
I know what you’re thinking, what about the rest of us? Don’t sweat it. I’m not giving the rest of you a worthy write-up, but I’ll give you a worthless, un-researched prediction.
DICKS VS NUTS
All this talk about 4-0 and the Rob’s and I almost forgot that Calderon is actually first in the league in scoring. This match up features the preseason #1 (Griff) vs the actual #1 (Rich C). This one could get ugly. Rich and his four potential All-Robio starters, led by a backfield (Bell/Murray) that will deliver a combined 600 points this week, will once again challenge for the league high score. Meanwhile, Griff is trying to piece a lineup together with glue, stuck playing two Falcons on the road (Ryan, Tamme) against the league’s top pass defense, while Odell Beckham finally ends it all and jumps off the George Washington bridge.
WINNER: RICH C, 1,786 – 982
BROWN VS WHITE
How about one upset prediction? After Thomas Rawls went down, picking up Crabtree and then landing Julio Jones for a handful of beans and Neatock’s dignity, everything is coming up Bob. Oh and his film is premiering in New York this week, but that’s not really that important. The fact is, this is the perfect time to lose.
Bob is down Christine Michael, Julio Jones has arguable his toughest match up on the season and I have no clue what he’s doing at tight end. Meanwhile, I actually like Tyrod Taylor out west, Howard is going to be a stud in this league and Antonio Brown already is. It’s time for Eric to earn that first win of the year.
WINNER: ERIC, 1,312 – 1,288
CONNER OF GURLEY VS MOLLIPOP
Molly is pulling the old, “I’m not setting my lineup until the last moment” approach, which makes predictions hard, but let’s assume she’s not going to keep two bye-week players in her starting line up.
As for Matt, just watch…Todd Gurley will have a career day: 220 yards rushing and three scores. Neatock will race to the message board to brag about how aweomsely awesome he is, all while his team is losing to Molly.
WINNER: MOLLY, 956 – 840
HYPE VS RESPECT
Burrier is dealing with bye weeks and bad match ups, the kind of winning combination that gives you syphilis, all while the combination of McCoy and Gordon will lead Jeff to victory.
WINNER: JEFF, 1,144 – 1,012
TWO VS ZERO (WINS)
Here’s the deal for 0-4 Colby. It’s a must win situation. Why? Because 0-4 doesn’t mean the end of a season. In fact, two teams that started 0-4 and won in week five, actually made the playoffs (out of eight total). Of course those two 0-4 teams were both me and it hasn’t happened in 13 years, but it has happened. However, an 0-5 team has never reached the playoffs before.
Problem for Colby is, Don’s team has looked a lot better lately, led by Elliot, the league’s leading rusher, while Colby…he can’t seem to get a legal lineup in order.
WINNER: DON, 1,288 – 0.