Last year Richard Burrier managed to win just two games all season long. That’s the bad news. However, the good news is, that means Mr. Burrier gets the first pick in the 2014 draft!!! How good of news is this? Very, because teams that have had the first pick have been solid-to-great the year they picked first…especially if your name isn’t Eric Vozzola.
First, some quick history. The draft order in Robioland’s first two drafts were randomly picked out of a hat. In 2001, I let the four expansion teams have the top four spots. Ann was the first person to agree to join (and provided me much sexy time), so she was given the first pick. Picks 5-12 were based on the previous seasons’s results. In 2002, we added four more expansion teams, but that year the newbies were placed in the back. Burrier was the worst returning team, so he was given the top spot. Since then, whoever finished last the year before got the first pick.
RESULTS BY SEASON OF TEAMS WHO HAD FIRST PICK
| YEAR | TEAM | WIN | LOSE | PCT | DIV | H/L | POINTS FOR | POINTS AVG | SEEED | Results |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| TOTAL | 127 | 74 | .631 | 9 Div Titles | 25/5 | 273,340 | 1,360 | 4 Titles | ||
| 1999 | Robio | 11 | 3 | 0.786 | 4-2* | 6/1 | 20,812* | 1,487 | #1 | Won Championship |
| 2000 | Rick | 11 | 3 | .786 | 6-0* | 3/0 | 20,687* | 1,478 | #1 | Reached Semis |
| 2001 | Jason | 11 | 3 | .786 | 5-1* | 5/0 | 21,816* | 1,558 | #1 | Won Championship |
| 2002 | Eric | 7 | 7 | .500 | 4-2 | 0/2 | 16,440 | 1,174 | ||
| 2003 | Rich B | 8 | 6 | .571 | 3-3* | 3/0 | 19,745 | 1,410 | #3 | Won Championship |
| 2004 | Don | 7 | 7 | .500 | 4-2 | 0/1 | 17,926 | 1,280 | #5 | Made playoffs |
| 2005 | Matt | 8 | 5 | .615 | 5-1* | 1/0 | 15,383 | 1,183 | #2 | Made Playoffs |
| 2006 | Bob | 8 | 5 | .615 | 4-2 | 0/0 | 15,942 | 1,226 | #5 | Reached Semis |
| 2007 | David | 11 | 2 | .846 | 5-1* | 2/0 | 18,199 | 1,400 | #1 | Reached Semis |
| 2008 | Colby | 7 | 6 | .538 | 4-2* | 1/1 | 16,272 | 1,252 | #3 | Reached Semis |
| 2009 | Matt | 10 | 3 | .769 | 4-2* | 1/0 | 19,459* | 1,497 | #1 | Won Championship |
| 2010 | Robio | 12 | 1 | 0.923 | 5-1* | 1/0 | 17,769 | 1,367 | #1 | Reached Title Game |
| 2011 | Eric | 1 | 12 | .077 | 0-6 | 0/0 | 15,716 | 1,209 | ||
| 2012 | Eric | 9 | 4 | .692 | 2/0 | 19,542* | 1,503 | #3 | Reached Title Game | |
| 2013 | Jeff | 6 | 7 | .462 | 0/0 | 17,632 | 1,356 | #8 | Made Playoffs |
As you can already tell, it’s fucking good to pick first.
Teams that have had the first pick in the draft have won 63% of their games. They’ve produced 25 weekly high scores to just five weekly low scores and brought home five scoring titles and won nine division titles (in 13 seasons). They average 1,360 points per game, over 100 PPG over the league average. They’ve reached the post-season 13 times in 15 years. They’ve reached the semifinals 10 times. They’ve played in six title games and have won four mugs (although only one of those has come since 2004). Rich knows all this because the last time he was the top pick, he earn a championship.
Anyhow, Eric has “earned” the top pick three times. He is the only person to earn it back-to-back years and he’s the only person to miss the playoffs (twice) despite having the top pick.
Those who have never had the top pick: Griff, Molly, Calderon and Masterson.