I’m the commissioner, I masturbate like it’s profitable and lately I’m more likely to earn a free lap dance with my boyish charm than win an actual fantasy football game…I am Robio Murray. Man, this game use to be easy. Winning seasons and playoff appearances were foregone conclusions. Scoring titles were my thing and I…
He’s tall, he’s bald and he was voted most likely to overbid on every item on The Price is Right…he’s Matt Neatock. Unable to live down an attempt to draft Torry Holt (a top-5 wide receiver at the time) in the 12th round, Matt’s reputation has suffered for years, yet this is a guy who has…
He’s a part-time vegan, sometimes nudist and most likely danced to Donna Summers during his high school prom…he’s Rich “don’t call me Burrier” Calderon. Okay, you get the “best team to never win a title” monkey off your back, so what do you do for an encore? If you’re Rich Calderon…not much. For a long…
He’s a legend in his own mind, a mock draft monster that’s only happy when he’s wearing nipple clamps for brunch…he’s Colby Hall. Colby has always seemed to live in a bubble in this league. For a long time, he lived in a bubble with Molly and Masterson, but that threesome has begun to separate…
He was the real-life inspiration for Dolomite, old people and pregnant women give up their subway seats for him and I naturally assume when my wife wants to orgasm, she thinks of him…he’s Rob Masterson. Rob’s beginnings in this league were of the positive sort. After two straight seasons advancing to the semis, he looked…
He’s handsome, hairy and probably has spent more money than anyone else in this league on lapdances…he’s Richard Burrier. Burrier is an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, rubbed with butter. He’s just tough to nail down, is all I’m trying to say. Here’s a guy who has produced just two winning seasons since 2007. Only Jeff…
She’s a chick, she’s inked up and now the only person she dislikes more than Bob, has to be Griff. For years, the New Yorkers have accused Molly of being either her husband’s pawn or his second team. Neither was true, but she’s definitely been living in the fantasy football shadow of one of the…
He’s the league’s oldest member by a lot, he was voted in his fraternity, “most like to go on a shooting spree” and he’s the first of what I hope are many league members who will come out of the closet…because when you think of Robioland Football, I want you to think diversity. Of course,…
How bad can it get? It’s not a rhetorical question. It’s a serious one and it’s one we know the answer to. It’s 757. That number: It’s an model of aircraft. It’s a typical season ending score for Calderon. It’s the number of times Matt has jerked off to his championship mugs (just this week).…
He’s the youngest member of Robioland Football, he’s a loyal Trumo supporter and remains one of the few who is still allowed legally to be within 200-yards of a middle school. He’s Eric Vozzola. Thanks to a solid 2015, where Eric earned a three-seed, he was able to move out of the Robioland Football basement…
Welcome to the 2016 Keeper Options. Like always, you can keep up to three players: one in rounds 1-5, one in rounds 6-10 and one in rounds 11-15. if you see one of these (*), that’s a player who at one point was redshirted. If you see a (C) next to the round, that means…
He hasn’t aged in the 15 years that I’ve known him, when he needs to Orgasm, he thinks of Jerry Garcia and the only thing he does worse than mac with the ladies…is play fantasy football. He is Jeff Greenblatt. He’s made the post-season last year. In fact, it was the second time in three seasons…
2009 was a big year. Barack Obama became our first half-black President, while Michael Jackson, our first black-who-turned-white pop star died of a drug overdose. In fantasy, the Matt Neatock dynasty appeared to be taking shape, as he beat Calderon for his second championship in three seasons. Yet, little did we know that in 2009,…
Okay folks, earlier in the week I gave you my in-depth thoughts on the incoming rookie running back class. My words were so in-depth, if Mel Kiper came across my posts, he’d be all like, “this dude writes like a third-grader.” Today, we tackle wide receivers. Get it, “tackle” the wide receivers. Fucking brilliant. As we…
Another NFL draft has come and gone. Sure, we all have our favorite squads, unless you’re Burrier, who seems to like about a third of the teams throughout the league. Yet, what impact does this have on fantasy? That’s what we really want to know. Today, let’s look at the running backs. FOUR ROOKIE RUNNING…
WEEK ONE Lobster Bikini – Robio (L) at Johnny Hancock – Eric (W), 939.0 – 1304.0 Deflate My Balls – Rob M (W) at Tijuana Picnic – Jeff (L), 1571.0 – 1163.0 My Ball Zach Ertz – Matt (W) at Two – Don (L), 1686.0 – 1051.0 Mollipop – Molly (L) at The Hype is…
Early next week, I’m going to show you who were the best free agent pick ups this season. However, before we head into the weekend, let’s start off with the bad and try to show you some of the worst, bone-headed free agent decisions of 2015. There are three ways to look at bad free…
As we continue to play more and more seasons of Robioland Football, it’s become harder to break records, but plenty of people added their names to the record book this year. ERIC VOZZOLA beat Rob Masterson back in week two, 2071 – 1345. The 2,071 points scored were the 29th most points scored by one…
ROUND ONE GRIFF – Adrian Peterson RB MIN | Position Rank: #2 He’s back!! It’s like he was never gone. Sure the Vikings pass offense continuous to be a mess, Peterson just keeps putting up elite numbers. He’s produced seven All-Robio awards since 2007 and the two years he didn’t finish among the top-six of…
Tom Brady barely held off Cam Newton for league MVP, while major injuries wrecked havoc on the final player rankings. Both Le’Veon Bell and Jamaal Charles were headed for first-team All-Robio seasons, before ACL injuries ended their years early. [table id=486 /]
It’s official…Griff Coomer is the 2015 Robioland Fantasy Football Champion… However, before we heap praise on our new master of the mug, we always throw a little appreciation to our runner up. Colby falls short, but proved that maybe we tend to overthink our top picks each and every summer, when really, it’s those later…
Here is the updated season’s rankings…all 200 of them. Yep, we’ve officially played 200 seasons in this league. If you finished among the top-50, congratulations, you either won a championship or delivered an elite season that failed to deliver a mug. If your season is ranked between 51-100, be proud. You made the playoffs. You are…
(2) WELCOME 2 FLA, ASSHOLES vs (6) QUARTER POUNDERS It’s Griff vs. Colby. Welcome 2 Fla, Assholes vs. the Quarter Pounders. Will the Pounders pound some Florida ass, or will the Assholes prevail? Many questions. Let’s get to it. RECORDS Griff: 11-4 (finished 2nd in the standings) Colby: 8-7 (finished 6th in the standings) POINTS…
I have no rooting interest in this league. I don’t cheer for or against anyone, except for myself of course. However, come playoff time, I typically root for the favorites. I always want the best two teams in the finals to add some sense of legitimacy. Now that doesn’t mean I always want the top…
It’s time to handout some more hardware. With the playoffs just beginning, we’ll have to wait and see who will earn “Biggest playoff collapse,” as well as league runner-up and of course league champion. However, we do know who has won all the regular rewards. Be prepared for a lot of Bob and a lot…
Just like the NFL, we go ahead and pick our “All-Robio” teams based solely on regular season results and since the regular season just ended, it’s time to hand out some hardware for those players who made a difference in 2015. This year, Eric and the Patriots owned the first team with three players. Eric’s…
Let’s get this shit on! It’s time for the 2014 playoffs to begin. I know, I know, everyone handed the title to Bob a long time ago. I get it. He’s stacked. He’s a winner. He’s Bob. Yet, this is Robioland, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish and what do I always.…
Repeating ain’t easy. We’ve covered this before. However, how long can one hangover really last for? Let’s investigate the most recent and pile on Rich Calderon. THE CHAMPIONSHIP Prior to 2013, the label of “best team to not win championship” was stuck on Rich Calderon like that tattoo on Rob Masterson’s ass that reads, “Jenna, 2…
We play 13 games, so there is no real halfway point, so I go with week seven as our midway point. Here are the All-Robio players…so far. Right now, I’m giving the league MVP to Devonta Freeman (Burrier). He barely beats out Tom Brady. Fact is, since becoming a starter in week three, he has…
We talked about the best starts in league history, so now let’s go with the league’s worst starts in league history. Oddly enough, despite being the team in the league with the most wins, my name appears often on this list, along with Eric. Griff and I have been to over half the title games,…
As my wife will tell you, I’m a little rough out of the gate, but a strong finisher. Others are just the opposite. Here is a list of those opposites, the best starters in league history and how they finished up. As you will see, starting hot has been pretty meaningless. The only 9-0 team…
I count 15 good-to-great free agent pick ups so far this season. These are important. These kind of decisions can make or break a season. Hell, I put in a bid for four of the top five on this list and lost all four. I lost Freeman by $5. If I would have gotten Freeman,…
Welcome to the preseason Robio Rankings. Normally I do a more detailed preseason predictions, but thanks to a short turnover, I don’t have the time before the season starts. I will have more later in the week. 1. THE DICK-TATERS (RICH C) Decision-making…it’s everything and it seems like this guy can’t make a bad one.…
Keepers are in. 26 players ready to lead their teams to a championship team. CATEGORY ONE KEEPERS | RANKED When it comes to naming my top keepers (in whatever category), it’s not necessarily the players who I think will score the most points, but it’s points plus the round they are being kept in. 1.…
I’ve said for a long time that having the top pick in the draft is the surest way to guarantee success. With the exception of Eric in 2011, any person who has started the season with the top pick in the draft has made the playoffs. That’s a pretty stunning stat, especially since we are…
Today, Baltimore Ravens wide receiver and former Carolina Panther, Steve Smith, announced this will be his final season. The dude has been around almost the entire time this league has existed. He was never quite an elite player (never getting drafted in round one), but he did manage to have elite seasons from time to…
Okay folks, I’ve done plenty of write ups regarding first-round pick failures. We have each person’s worst pick of all-time, which is a good read and of course I always did a full log of everyone’s first round prior to the 2013 season. This one is different. Here are the top-30 worst picks in the…
Here are the Robioland Football 2015 keeper options. If a player is “back in the pool” that means he’s been kept for three years and is a free agent again or the player was picked up during last year’s playoffs, thus he can’t be kept. If you see “*” that means that player had a…
We are 25 days away from keepers being due. I know, right around the corner. However, before you start stressing about it, if last year taught us anything, the keepers don’t matter as much as we think they do. 2014’s keepers could end up being one of the worst collection of keepers of all-time. Time…
The cap is as same as last year…$100, bitches. [table id=470 /]
It’s official, Robioland Football is old enough to go see an NC-17 film. That’s right, we are officially beginning year 17, yet, if Bob continues to dominate this league like he has, we’re going to be renaming it, Bobioland. Recently, Mr. Castrone finally released his film Flock of Dudes obviously in honor of my love…
The 2014 season featured many record breaking performances. Obviously Bob’s name is one you will see a lot on this post, but folks like Matt and Colby were also involved in plenty of records as well. Oddly enough, the only person in 2014 to not be in any game that cracked a top-30 of any…
Maurice Jones-Drew has officially hung up his cleats, so it’s time to look back at his career in Robioland. Maybe because he was a power guy, maybe because he played for Jacksonville, but I’ll always remember the lack of appreciation for MJD. Despite finishing in the top-13 among all backs in his first six seasons…
Here is the updated season’s rankings…all 188 of them. If you finished among the top-47, congratulations, you either won a championship or delivered an elite season that failed to deliver a mug. If your season is ranked between 48-94, be proud. You made the playoffs. You are either a average team that produced a ton…
WEEK ONE Charles Bronson at My Ball Zach Ertz, 1079 – 1286 The Dick-Taters at Popular Internet Meme, 1697 – 1232 Two at Mollipop, 957 – 1514 Super Dupers at Johnny Hancock, 1453 – 1635 Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes at Quarter Pounders, 1673 – 1365 GronkowSki School 2 at Lynch Cobb, 861 – 1375 TUESDAY THOUGHT…
If there was a fantasy football George Clooney it would easily be Bob. Nothing goes wrong for this guy, even when he tries (like swapping out his kicker for no apparent reason). Think about it, the three tightest finishes in this league’s post-season history all have one thing in common…Bob Castrone finding a way to…
Early Friday, Matt Neatock asked me if he beats Bob, would it be the league’s greatest upset? It was a great question and I hadn’t really thought about it previously. Matt was a 338-point underdog heading into the championship game. That’s actually an improvement from earlier in the week when Bob was favorite by about…
It’s two-time champion Matt Neatock going against three-time champion Bob Castrone. We haven’t had this many past championships since 2011 when Bob and I had four combined. It’s going to get good, folks. BOB VS MATT…BY THE NUMBERS [table id=455 /] BOB VS MATT THIS SEASON Back in week four, these two both sat…
HBO’s Game of Thrones is a favorite of mine. There’s politics, incest and lots and lots of full-frontal nudity (which reminds me, I have a movie idea. Bob, we’ll talk). It also has a famous saying: All Men Must Die! The same could be said in fantasy football: all Teams Must Lose. If you add…
ROUND ONE 1. Rich B – Matt Forte RB CHI | Pos Rank: #3 | 3426 points When you only have one pick among the top 22, one can’t afford to miss here. Burrier did not miss. 2. Eric – Calvin Johnson WR DET | Pos Rank: #24 | 1748 points Four straight years as…