Last year Richard Burrier managed to win just two games all season long. That’s the bad news. However, the good news is, that means Mr. Burrier gets the first pick in the 2014 draft!!! How good of news is this? Very, because teams that have had the first pick have been solid-to-great the year they…
2014 Keepers | Robio’s Deep Thoughts
Keepers are in and it’s time for me to tell you how great you are or how stupid you are. I’ve also ranked you based on who has the best keepers. 1. MATT NEATOCK Rd 4 – Eddie Lacy, RB GB As a rookie, who didn’t play much during his first two games, Lacy managed…
Greatest Keepers Per Team
Keepers are due this Sunday. Lots of tough decisions to be made. However, let’s take a look back at each person’s greatest keeper (in no particular order). ROBIO MURRAY MARSHAWN LYNCH, 2011-2013 Oddly, despite my success, I haven’t really produced a lot of great keepers. Maybe I’m bad at it. Maybe I draft so well,…
How Bad Can You Be?
Guess what folks, Robioland football is finally old enough to drive. Yep, we’re heading into year sixteen, which means everyone has been involved in this league for over a decade. That means it’s a perfect time to show how bad everyone has been. Below is every current owners worst season ever. RANKING THE WORST OF…
2013 Season Rewind
WEEK ONE Fart Joke (L) Welcome 2 FLA, Assholes (W) 1406 – 1872 Quarter Pounders (W) Flock Of Dudes (L) 1482 – 1317 The Dick-Taters (W) Foleatio (L) 1345 – 1036 Two (L) Johnny Hancock (W) 1393 – 1616 Wet Brees (W) Butt Fumbles (L) 1555 – 1459 Mollipop (W) o0o0o (L) 1840 – 1180…
The Name of the Game is Trades
Performing a trade does not guarantee a championship. In fact, only seven of the league’s 15 title holders performed a trade during that championship run. However, trades are fun. There were seven trades made in 2013. It wasn’t the most ever for a season, not even close, but it wasn’t the worst either. The usual…
Greatest Team to Never Win a Title
For years, Rich Calderon hung the “greatest team to never win a title” label proudly around his neck, but no more. Sadly, it’s time to pass the mantle. Yet, who deserves it? Let’s look at our options. We have, in no particular order, Rob Masterson, Eric Vozzola, Jeff Greenblatt, Molly Coomer and Colby Hall. THINGS…
Calderon’s Encore
It’s a tricky situation. You’ve spent more than a decade chasing a dream. You’ve watch others take home mug after championship mug and it just leaves you thirsting for more. Then it happens. You finally end the misery and win that elusive championship. The mug is yours; life is complete…but now what? That’s the question…
2014 Keeper Options
Keepers win championships. Actually, that’s not true. Just asked 2006 Griff. However, a couple good ones doesn’t hurt. Here are every team’s keeper options for the upcoming season. When you’re ready to pick your keepers, you go to your team page on CBS and select the ones you want. [table id=394 /]
2013 Draft Rewind
Round 1 1. Jeff – Charles, Jamaal RB KC | Position Rank: 1st First time since 2003 that the top picked finished first at their respective position. 2. Don – Johnson, Calvin WR DET | Position Rank: 1st First time in league history the top two picks both finished first in their position. 3. Colby…
2014 Scoring Changes
IF YOU READ ONE THING I POST THIS YEAR…LET IT BE THIS. If you recall, I told you two seasons ago, that there will be changes made to the scoring system. Well, I’ve dug in deep, did my homework, calculated the math and I’ve come up with the new scoring system. NOTE: These changes don’t…
2013 Records: The Year of the Opponent
With the season over, it’s time to look back and see who joined the record book in 2013. Obviously, all records can be found on the RECORD BOOK page. POINTS FOR Matt Neatock scored 2,207 points in a week nine victory over Griff. That was the 7th most points ever scored in a game. Matt now…
Rich Calderon: Champion…Finally!
Of course, before we talk about the champion, we like to give one last shout out to the loser. Despite yet another title game defeat (this is Griff’s sixth in 15 years), it’s hard not to marvel at what Mr. Coomer has accomplished lately. Back in 2007-2008, he was getting fucked like a black kid…
It’s Dicks vs Assholes…the winner gets a mug.
It’s Robiobowl XV. It’s The Dick-Taters vs. Welcome 2 Fla, Assholes. I think this video sums up this contest. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get serious. Rich and Griff, these two have been pretty good in Robioland. Griff is second all-time in points per game. Rich is third in the…
2013 Draft Rewind
Round 1 1. Jeff – Charles, Jamaal RB KC | Position Rank: 1st First time since 2003 that the top picked finished first at their respective position. 2. Don – Johnson, Calvin WR DET | Position Rank: 1st First time in league history the top two picks both finished first in their position. 3. Colby…
2013 Semifinals Predictions
Okay kids, it’s prediction time. As I wrote earlier this week, I love these match ups. I love the idea of one side of the bracket featuring the two teams with the most title game appearances (Robio/Griff) going against two teams that have both struggled to turn regular season success into a mug-worthy season. Let’s…
2013 Players
[table id=352 /]
2013 Playoffs
The 2013 playoffs are here. If you’re one of the lucky eight, then this article is for you. #1 BUTT FUMBLES, 10-3 (ROBIO) JUST THE PLAYOFF FACTS, MA’AM I’m 20-6 in the post-season. My 20 wins are a league high and my .769 winning percentage is also the league best. I’m the only person to…
2013 All-Robio Awards
Like the NFL, we award our All-Robio awards when the regular season ends. Guess what just ended? So it’s time for the 2013 All-Robio First, Second and third team awards. Below you will see me reference “All-Robio points.” What this means is, I give 3 points for a first-team award, 2 for second team and…
First Rounds Picks, Not What You Always Want It To Be
First-round picks…they don’t need to be great, but you’ll certainly feel it if they aren’t any good. We’ve all had our share of bad, season-wrecking first round picks. Here is a list of every team’s worst first-round pick. Now how did I come up with this list. Well, I ignored keepers and kept the focus…
2013 Preseason All-Robio Predictions
Note to league members, of the eight players I predicted to be first-team All-Robio in 2012, only one actually finished the season as a first-team All-Robio player. So yeah, grain of salt. Of the 24 players on the first, second and third teams, 1/3 did finish on one of those teams. That’s not bad. First-team…
2013 Preseason Rankings
NOW…it’s official. The draft, that was the appetizer. The season doesn’t really begin until I make my preseason predictions. Last season three of the four teams I said would miss the playoffs did and the one I missed (Matt) I said would finish 8th, so I was oh so close. As for the champ, I…
2013 Mock Draft
ROUND ONE 1. Jeff – Arian Foster, RB HOU It comes down to three guys, Foster, Charles or Calvin Johnson. Starting next year, thanks to the scoring changes, running backs are going to be more valuable. If I’m picking, I’m taking the guy who has been an All-Robio player three straight years as oppose to…
First-Round History
The first-round doesn’t decide a championship, but it sure will help you become on. Let’s take a look back at everyone’s first round picks and see who nailed it and who blew the pooch. Note: The asterisk means keeper. ROBIO Overall, not too bad. No major busts. Since 2001, I’ve taken or kept nine running…
2013 Keepers, Who Got It Right?
The 2013 keepers are in and what’s the point of having me in the league if I don’t sit here and judge each and every one of you. ROBIO Matt Ryan, QB ATL (Round 3) | Marshawn Lynch, RB SEA (Round 7) I had one big decision to make and that was in category two.…
2012 Keepers Redos
The 2013 keepers are due in roughly two weeks, so let’s take a moment and look back to last year’s decisions. Let’s see if you made the right ones. DON CATEGORY ONE: He kept no one, but he should have kept quarterback Matt Ryan in the fourth, who not only finished sixth among all arms, he…
2013 Player Salaries
Here are your 2013 Salaries. The salary cap will remain the same…$110. [table id=314 /]
2013 Robioland Football…It Begins
Fucking 15 years old. Robioland Football is still jailbait, but damn we’re getting old. Can you believe it? Fifteen years of Robioland football. It seems like just yesterday I sat in my living room with Griff and six other guys, with our shirts off, rubbing each others’ nipples…no wait, that was something else. Actually, the…
The Rally
ROB BECOMES THE FIRST PERSON IN THE 13-GAME ERA TO RALLY FROM A 1-5 START TO PRODUCE A WINNING RECORD When do you throw in the towel? It’s a question we never want to face in a fantasy football season, but we’ve all been there. For those who start the season 1-5, the answer is…
2013 Keeper Options
Here are your 2013 keeper options for each team. [table id=313 /]
2012 Season Rewind
WEEK ONE Kolb Gobblers 1183.0 at o0o0o 1310.0 Quarter Pounders 1613.0 at Tebow’s Before Hoes 1708.0 Glory Hole Days 1560.0 at Mollipop 1410.0 The Dick-Taters 1263.0 at The Gooch Bruisers 1193.0 Romolicious 1612.0 at Spider Two Wide Banana 1326.0 Young, Dumb & Full of Cam 1100.0 at Tony Stark 1172.0 TUESDAY THOUGHTS No. 1 TEBOW’S…
2012 Players
2012 was a year unlike any other. A rookie quarterback (RGIII) finished first among all quarterbacks, while a second rookie, running back Doug Martin delivered a first-team All-Robio performance. Some stars shined as expected (Ray Rice, Arian Foster and Calvin Johnson are just a few), while others (Maurice Jones-Drew, DeMarco Murray and Michael Vick) faltered.…
2012 Draft Rewind
ROUND ONE 1. ERIC – Ray Rice, RB-BAL | Position Rank: #4 | 2,548 points Finally, Eric gets a first-round pick right. The ghost of Chris Johnson, Brian Westbrook, Shaun Alexander, LaMont Jordan, Julius Jones and Eddie George lingered in the air draft day, but Ray Rice exercised all those demons, leading Eric to his…
Robioland Baseball, 2013 Recap
[table id=284 /] TOP SEED HISTORY: Evan N., Jeff, Robio, Rich C, Denbo, Naides SCORING CHAMP: Evans N, Rob M, Robio, Rich C, Rob M, Naides 1. ROB MASTERSON He didn’t win the title in 2012, but Masterson holds onto the top spot for the second straight year. The Jersey boy is tops in wins…
Game of the Century
ROBIO OVER ERIC, 1,973 – 1,871 | CHAMPIONSHIP GAME Heading into the 2012 title game, one thing was clear…Eric (Tebow’s Before Hoes) was the favorite. The CBS Guru certainly thought Eric was the better of the two teams, making me (Romolicious) a 384-point underdog. Even I jumped on the bandwagon. In my predictions, I gave…
Ranked Seasons, 2012
Here is the updated season’s rankings…all 164 of them. I’ve tweaked the math this year (you can see how I figure all this at the very bottom of this page). I’ve also added a new feature, you can now see just your seasons (because really, do you care about anyone else?) Anyhow, the get some…
2012 TITLE GAME – THE PREDICTION
It’s cousin vs. cousin the 13th title game in Robioland history. While the top two teams (Griff and Calderon) failed to escape the first-round, this is the third time in four years that the championship game featured two high seeds (1-4). This is a bit surprising considering how many upsets we have in this league.…
2012 ALL-ROBIO TEAMS
Here are the 2012 All-Robio awards. Just like the NFL, we only count what happened in the regular season. Below you will see me reference “All-Robio points.” What I’m talking about is, on the All-Robio Players Page, I award three points for First-Team All-Robio, two for second-team and one for third-team, to see who is…
2012 Playoff – The Big Picture
It’s on. We got two Rich’s, two Rob’s (for the first time since 2006), two Coomers and a Bob. The league has two Vozzola’s, but only one made it to the playoffs. Only three teams have won titles over the last six years, but two of them (Don, Matt) are sitting outside, looking in. Speaking…
History of the Final Week Spoiler
The spoiler…the man (or woman) who goes out in the final week and takes someone else’s playoff hopes, their playoff dreams, and crushes them like like Tim Burton crushes all my favorite child movies with awful remakes. Over the 13 year history of this league, it’s happen seven times. Seven times a team had a…
2012 Mid-Season Report
Technically with a 13-game schedule, the midway point of the season is actually midway through the week six games, but since 67-percent of the league gets to play ball in the quarterfinals, I’m deciding that the halfway point is after seven weeks of football. So how’s your season going? If you’re in this league and…
2012’s Wednesday Stats – Full Season Update
TEAM OF THE WEEK: Week 1 – Tebow’s Before Hoes (Eric), 1708 points Week 2 – The Gooch Bruisers (Griff), 1847 points Week 3 – The Gooch Bruisers (Griff), 1499 points Week 4 – Romolicious (Robio), 1787 points Week 5 – Tebow’s Before Hoes (Eric), 2041 points Week 6 – The Gooch Bruisers (Griff), 1594…
2012 Suicide Pool
Week one is done and so are Matt, Bob, Molly and Burrier. The good news for these folks is, I said that if we get a winner from this pool sooner rather than later, we’ll just do another one, start fresh. And if both Burrier and Griff win this week, we’ll have a winner. That’s…
2012 Predictions: Lil’ E Has The Goods
How does one make predictions. Sure I can do a ton of research (which I do), but do I simply add up the numbers and declare the team with the highest totals the winner? Seems easy, but I can’t really ignore other factors, right? Don’t I have to consider Colby’s abilities to do trades that…
2012 Draft – A Round-By-Round Quick Thought
Here are some “quick hits” as Don Banks would say regarding the 2012 Robioland Fantasy Football Draft. ROUND ONE The first-round went pretty much to script. While my mock draft didn’t nail all of the first nine picks (I got six of nine), if I was given two choices, I would have gone nine for…
2012 Post-Draft Mock Draft
If you’re reading this now, this means the draft is over. While I love doing actual mock drafts, I don’t like giving away my secrets, as well as others’ secrets that were given to me…but I still do a mock draft anyway. Let’s see how accurate I got. Let’s see if my mock team for…
Jeff Suffering Through Breakup Blues
JEFF GREENBLATT Heading into 2012, we are going into year four since the Jeff/Colby love affair was broken up. Life as a single player started off well for Jeff. He won eight games in 2009, he made it to the post-season as the 4-seed, while Colby was sitting home and watching. Yet, the previous two…
Molly’s Got Back
MOLLY COOMER For a long time now, Molly was pretty predictable. You knew she would win a game at some point during the season without breaking 900 points, you knew she was going to refuse to send nude photos to Burrier for $50 and you knew that she was going to draft a running back…
Burrier’s Squad That Didn’t Exist
RICHARD BURRIER Last year a lot was made about the fact that Burrier basically went wire-to-wire with the exact same starting lineup. Meaning the exact same starting lineup in week one also played in the championship game. That’s pretty impressive, if you’re into that kind of thing. However, those players weren’t all of Rich’s top…
Calderon’s Keeper Fails?
RICH CALDERON Mr. Calderon loves to see himself as the “best team to not win a championship.” Fact is, it’s true, at least statistically. However, I’m bored with this storyline. The big question should be, why do Calderon’s “great” teams continue to come up short? Why can’t any of these teams bring home at least one…